Stop speaking to the person and leave it alone

Treat the person as outside the community right away

Treat the person as outside the community if refusal continues

Speak plainly, involve the church when needed, and aim for restoration rather than revenge

Use public embarrassment so the person feels the cost

Treat the person as hopeless and stop caring

Avoid the issue so nobody gets uncomfortable

If you would like to receive Jesus, pray this with me: Lord Jesus, I admit that I have sinned and resisted your ways. I need your mercy and your leadership. I believe you died for my sins and rose again. I turn from my sin and trust you as my Lord and Savior. Teach me to listen to you and follow you with a humble heart. Amen.

Come Under Your Lordship

Lord, revive your Church. Where we have become stubborn, quick to judge, or slow to care, make us humble and teachable. Give us courage to speak truth, wisdom to involve the church rightly, and love that seeks restoration without compromise. Awaken us to be a people who listen well and help one another walk in your light, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Revive Your Church to Listen and Restore

Father, forgive me for the times I have refused correction, defended my pride, or ignored wise counsel. Soften my heart, give me ears that hear, and lead me back to obedience and peace with others. Help me receive hard words as grace when they are true, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

A Softened Heart

First name the conflict honestly before God, then ask for the courage to speak privately and clearly, the humility to listen, and the wisdom to know when to ask mature believers for help.

Pray Before You Speak

Pray for the person who is resisting counsel: that pride would soften, ears would open, truth would be heard, and a way back to fellowship would appear without shame.

For the One Who Is Resisting

Pray for your church: protection from gossip, pride, and harshness; courage to address hard things directly; and a shared desire to protect the vulnerable while pursuing restoration.

Guard the Community From Gossip and Pride

ἐὰν{e-AN###eh-AHN###if} δὲ{DE###DEH###but} παρακούσῃ{pa-ra-KOO-see###pah-rah-KOO-see###he refuses to listen} αὐτῶν,{af-TON###ahf-TOHN###to them} εἰπὸν{ee-PON###ee-POHN###tell} τῇ{TEE###TEE###to the} ἐκκλησίᾳ·{ek-klee-SEE-a###ehk-klee-SEE-ah###church} ἐὰν{e-AN###eh-AHN###if} δὲ{DE###DEH###but} καὶ{KE###KEH###even} τῆς{TEES###TEES###to the} ἐκκλησίας{ek-klee-SEE-as###ehk-klee-SEE-ahs###church} παρακούσῃ,{pa-ra-KOO-see###pah-rah-KOO-see###he refuses to listen} ἔστω{ES-to###EHS-toh###let him be} σοι{see###see###to you} ὥσπερ{HO-sper###HOHS-per###as} ὁ{ho###hoh###the} ἐθνικὸς{eth-nee-KOS###ehth-nee-KOHS###Gentile} καὶ{KE###KEH###and} ὁ{ho###hoh###the} τελώνης.{te-LO-nees###teh-LOH-nees###tax collector}

Matthew 18:17 — Source TextTAB

More on this verse